My Little Kitten
by RurikoTsukuyomi
Summary: Grimmjow finds himself trapped in the body of an eight-year-old! Now, he has to deal with being a human child in the human world and those foolish Soul Reapers just won't let it go. Poor Grimmjow, this kitten can't find his way home! Non-yaoi. CUTENESS!
1. Chapter 1

**Another Bleach fanfic... ^^;**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tite Kubo's characters~!!**

**WARNINGS: Complete randomnes, some humor scenes, some sad scenes and whatnot...**

****

Chapter One: OOF.

How could this of happened? There had to be some sort of ingenious plan... But whatever it was, Grimmjow couldn't tell what it was. Despite his brain still being the same, he was smaller. To his complete and utter horror, he had appeared in the human world one morning.

Not only that... But he was tiny! A shrimp! A midget! A freak! Grimmjow was trapped in the body of a eight-year-old for the time being and he didn't have any idea how it happened.

At the moment, Grimmjow found himself sitting on the edge of a sandbox in the playground in Karakura town. All by himself. He still had part of his Hollow mask, thank goodness, but his powers had decreased immensely. It was so depressing.

Grimmjow sighed and glared at the sand. He had been sitting there for four hours now with nothing to do. So, he finally got up and left the playground. He couldn't even figure out how to act.

He'd seen the other snotfaced kids picking their noses and sobbing a lot, but he wasn't into that. No. Absolutely not.

Grimmjow walked down the street, wincing every so often when and adult shoved him in the crowded city. Grimmjow stopped at the corner of a street, looking at the huge ass buildings surrounding them. He was surprised his neck didn't snap at how high he had to look up!

Walking for hours, Grimmjow took a rest outside a small general store, his stomach growling pitifully. He reached up a tiny hand to flick hair from his face, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he found a little girl in his face.

"Hey! What the Fuck?!" Grimmjow shouted angrily at the light-brown haired girl, who giggled at him.

"Tee hee~ You talk like my brother in the morning. I saw you walking all around the city today... Why haven't you gone home?" She asked, sitting beside him. Grimmjow glared at her.

"I can't! Why should I tell you anyway?!"

"My name's Yuzu! Kurosaki Yuzu!" The girl beamed. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Grimmjow. Grimmjow Jea- Kurosaki?!" He demanded, turning on Yuzu, who smiled innocently.

"Yea. Have you met one of my other family members?"

"Your dickface of a brother!" Grimmjow retorted. Yuzu sweated.

"You have a potty mouth..."

"I'll shove a sock down your throat if you don't-"

"Hey, do you wanna come to my house? I have food for you." Yuzu smiled.

"No, I don't want your filthy human food-" Grimmjow cut off as his stomach knotted and growled. Yuzu giggled. Grimmjow felt an odd feeling heat his face. What was it? Weeeeird...

"Come on, Grimm! I'll get you some food!"

"My name's not- WAH!" Grimmjow yelped as Yuzu grabbed his hand and tore him to his feet, dragging him down the street toward her home.

**xxxxx**

Upon arriving, Yuzu stepped into the kitchen, still holding Grimmjow's hand tightly.

"Daddyyyyy! Ichigo! Kariiiiin! Anybody home?!" She called, looking around. Grimmjow panicked a little. What would Ichigo think if he found him like this?! Oh the humiliation! The horror! He had to hide!

"Wait, wait!" Grimmjow hissed, covering her mouth. Yuzu looked at him, blinking in confusion.

"What? What's wrong, Grimm?" She asked. Grimmjow pouted in irritation at the nickname without even knowing it.

"Uhm, I don't do well with families. Why can't you just give me some food and I'll hit the road?" He asked. Yuzu's eyes got bubbly and sad.

"But, I can't leave you all alone in the city. There are lots of scary people out there."

"I've been here for two days and nothing's happened to me. Look, just give me the food or-"

"Yuzu, who the Hell is that?" A girl's voice demanded. Yuzu looked up as Karin came into the kitchen with a glare locked on Grimmjow, who glared back.

"This is Grimmjow! I found him in front of the general store."

"Found me?! Do I look like a lost kitten?!" Grimmjow barked.

"Yuzu, didn't dad tell you to stop bringing strangers home?" Karin asked, irritated. Yuzu pouted, folding her arms over her chest.

"But, he's really nice! And I didn't want him to starve. He says he's can't go back home." She replied. Karin eyed Grimmjow suspiciously, finding something oddly familiar about the eight-year-old. She could have sworn he looked like someone else...

Grimmjow opened his mouth to snap at them both when a familiar voice came from the hallway.

"Yuzu, Karin... What are you guys-" Ichigo walked into the room, then stopped talking. Yuzu and Karin were staring at the back door where Grimmjow had made a fast get away.

Grimmjow sprinted down the street as fast as his new eight-year-old legs would carry him, panting as sweat spotted his forehead. _Gah, that was close. A second longer and Kurosaki would have seen me looking like-like... Like this! Ugh, of all the rotten luck in the world..._ He thought bitterly, then rounded a corner.

**KA-BLAM!**

Grimmjow winced and stumbled backwards on his ass. He jerked his head up, glaring at a pair of men, dressed in gangster-like attire.

"Move it, you fucking jerks!" Grimmjow barked. The taller man stared down at the child. He didn't seen an all powerful Espada or anything. He simply saw an eight-year-old dressed in a funky looking Halloween costume.

"Hey, kid. You're a few weeks late." He laughed.

"Halloween was last month, kiddo." The other one agreed.

"Say that again and I'll tear your throats out!" Grimmjow snapped, glaring. The taller one reached out and snatched Grimmjow up by the collar of his tiny jacket. Grimmjow winced, then out a gasp of surprise as he was hoisted high into the air over the gangster's head.

"You got a big mouth kid."

"Maybe you should break it, Hisashi." The smaller one snickered. Hisashi chuckled.

"Good idea. That should teach him to shut his trap." He laughed and reeled his fist back. Grimmjow squirmed frantically, kicking at the man, but nothing worked. He was trapped!!

"Put him down." A voice ordered. Hisashi dropped his fist and looked over. Grimmjow dreaded to look, but had to anyway. Kurosaki Ichigo stood there with a hand on his hip an a ever-present frown on his face.

"What're you gonna do if I don't?" Hisashi demanded, tightening his grip. Grimmjow made a choking sound, squeezing his eyes shut as his lungs burned.

_Whoa, shit... I've never felt like this before...! It hurts! And I can't use a cero to blow his fucking head off!_ He thought horrified.

"Fine, have it your way." Ichigo snapped and swung his foot out.

_WHAP!_ His foot collided with Hisashi's head, knocking him backwards into his friend. Grimmjow was released and hit the ground, landing on his hands and knees. He coughed, holding his throat as he sucked in gulp after gulp of sweet air.

"Dude, let's get outta here!" Hisashi's friend cried and bolted off. Hisashi glared at Ichigo before taking off. Ichigo watched them go, then whirled to make sure he wasn't dreaming, but the street was empty. He blinked, scratching the side of his head.

"That was weird... I could've sworn I just saw Grimmjow... I need to get more sleep..." He mumbled to himself and turned to go, completely unnoticing that Grimmjow was hiding behind a trashcan.

_This is stupid! I need to find someway to get back to Hueco Mundo! I can't walk around like this! And I definitely need to avoid any Soul Reapers..._ He thought angrily as he hugged his knees to his chest. Life just couldn't get any worse...

**KA-BOOM!**

Grimmjow squeaked, jumping at the sound of the loud crackle of thunder that echoed through the sky. He groaned as rain began to pour down upon his head, pooling in the streets immediately. He hated getting wet...

He sat there and sat there, letting his body become utterly soaked. His hair stuck to his face and head, coming out of its gel-like style. He sat there, glaring at the wall in front of him as he hugged his knees close.

Life sucked...

**xxxx**

Eventually, Grimmjow had fallen asleep in a puddle of dirty rain. His head rested on his hands as he slept. He wasn't comfy, but he was asleep and happy now... Until something woke him up. It sounded like a voice...? A very faint one...

"Excuse me... Kid, wake up..." It was annoying. Grimmjow wanted to kill whoever it was. He peeked an eye open and was met with a pair of bright eyes in his face. He spasmed and jolted back, slamming into the trash can behind him. An adult was crouched down near him, staring in awe.

"Oh! Are you all right?" The young woman asked. Grimmjow stared at her blankly.

"Uh?" He tried. The woman made a sniffle.

"Awww, you poor thing! Abandoned here all by yourself! What horrible parents would do this to such a thing? Here, come home with me. I'll give you some new clothes and some food." She offered. Grimmjow grinned.

_Perfect. I didn't even have to do anything! I'm like some kind of super cute sort of kid... I guess that's one advantage._ He thought with a shrug and stood up slowly. The woman took his hand and led him into her large home nearby.

Grimmjow thought it smelled like a laundry mat, but then again... The lady left him in the bathroom standing naked while she went to fetch him some clothes. He looked around curiously in the bathroom, searching for something he might need to take with him on his quest to find his way back to Hueco Mundo.

He only came up with some rubbing alcohol, cotton balls (which he tried to hide to take with him for sure), and towels. Weird bathroom, Grimmjow noted. Soon, the woman came back, handing him a pile of clothes.

"Just get dressed in those and come to the kitchen! I'll be cooking a nice big lunch for you!" She beamed and left him alone. Grimmjow scowled at her cheeriness, then dropped the clothes.

He pulled on a pair of black boxers, a pair of beige corduroy jeans, a dark blue t-shirt with the number six on it (ironically enough), and a small gray zip-up sweatshirt. He had trouble with the silly white socks and the black sneakers, but eventually got them on.

He already missed his Espada uniform and wished the lady would hurry up and wash it for him. He stepped out of the bathroom, having shoved the cotton balls into the pockets of his jeans. He followed the delicious scent of meat into the kitchen and found to his delight that the lady had left a nice plate of sausage and bacon on the kitchen table.

Eagerly, Grimmjow ran up to the table and stole a handful of each type of meat and shoved it into his mouth, chomping only a few times before swallowing all of it whole. Without waiting for his Espada uniform, he was off. He bolted out the door and ran into the street, heading straight for the city again.

He felt a little bad for leaving his beautiful uniform behind, but it had to be done. He hoped he still had a spare in Hueco Mundo. Grimmjow came around a corner and bumped into a long pair of legs.

"For fuck's sake, how many people am I gonna fucking smash into?!" He yelled and lifted his head and froze.

"Grimmjow...?!" Ishida Uryû stared in disbelief down at the eight-year-old version of the Sexta Espada. Chad stood beside him, his eyes wide.

"Is that really...?" His voice trailed. Grimmjow took a step back.

"I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about-"

"That is Grimmjow! I know that talk anywhere." Uryû added bitterly. Grimmjow spun around to run the other way, but Chad caught him by the collar of his sweatshirt and shirt, jerking him high into the air.

"Heyyyy!! Put me down, you giant freak of nature!! If you don't fucking put me down, I'll mutilate you! Hear me?!" Grimmjow screamed, flailing about.

"We should definitely talk to Ichigo about this." Uryû proclaimed. Grimmjow froze, then groaned.

"Nooo!!"

****

**A/N: Yea, I'm working on improving my Bleach fanfics. I just had to get these down. :) Cute Grimmjow child. So adorable... Anyway~ Please review kindly, no flames please. Thank you so much for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter two for ya! ^^ Please enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tite Kubo's characters~!!**

**WARNINGS: Randomness, naughty language, lots of violence, humor scenes and sad scenes...!**

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Chapter Two: Let's Take A Vote!

"... Heheheh... Haha... WHAHAHAAA! THIS IS HILARIOUS!" Ichigo laughed, holding his gut as Chad held up the eight-year-old version of Grimmjow up by the scruff of his sweatshirt collar.

Grimmjow fumed, tensing up as a stream of pink tinted his face.

"ARGH! SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR STUPID FACE, KUROSAKI, OR I'LL BREAK IT!!" He all, but screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Ichigo, this really isn't as funny as it seems." Uryû muttered dryly as he pushed his glasses up on his nose. Chad looked at the orange-haired teen, who was still laughing wildly while Grimmjow let out a stream of swear words.

"He's got a point, Ichigo... We should do something about him..." He pointed out.

"Get him a babysitter! HAHAHA!!! GRIMMJOW?! A BABYSITTER FOR GRIMMJOW?!?! HAHAHAHAAAAA!!!" Ichigo exploded into another series of gasping laughs. Grimmjow blushed deep crimson, completely unnoticing to the thin layer of embarrassing tears in his bright blue eyes.

"STOP LAUGHING! I'll slaughter you if you don't fucking shut your trap, you carrot-topped freak!" He yelled. Ichigo gasped and slammed his hand down on the kitchen table as he laughed.

"HAHAHA! This is the funniest thing I've seen in my short years of life!"

"I said SHUT UP!" Grimmjow screamed and something shocking happened. The palms of his hands seemed to gather up a pair of bright red spheres that rumbled, then exploded into the kitchen floor.

Ichigo stopped laughing to stare in surprise. Uryû glared at Ichigo.

"Now will you stop laughing, you idiot?" He demanded. Chad frowned, eyeing the Espada curiously. Grimmjow looked exhausted and had stopped struggling to pant, sweat dotting his face.

"He can still use a cero?" Ichigo asked. Uryû rolled his eyes.

"Evidently enough, stupid! This means he can still use his other hollow powers. We need to do something in case he sneaks around and causes real problems out in the city." He scolded. Ichigo glared.

"I am not stupid! Besides, what're we supposed to do?! Lock him in a safe?!"

"If you're so smart, you tell me!"

"Shut up!"

"Are you going to make me?!"

Chad sweated as the two argued, then blinked when Grimmjow went limp in his grip. He looked from Grimmjow to the Quincy and Soul Reaper.

"Uhm... Guys... Uryû...? Ichigo...? Guys... GUYS!" He said a bit louder, grabbing both boys' attention. Chad held out Grimmjow's limp form.

"He passed out. I think just that set of ceros wiped him out." He said. Uryû frowned, taking his chin between his thumb and index finger in thought.

"It seems with his immense power packed into such a tiny body that it causes too much stress, making him become easily exhausted... What we should do is lock him up-"

"No," Ichigo cut in, "If we lock him up, he'll try and escape... Then he'll run off and pass out somewhere. Knowing this city, he'll either get killed or worse out on the streets in that body..."

"So what do we do?" Uryû asked. Ichigo made a face, then sighed.

"Leave him here... I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind him staying.. I'll just come up with some lie that I got hired to babysit him... Yuzu and Karin will keep him busy enough, giving us time to look for a way to get him back to normal and back in Hueco Mundo where he belongs." He explained.

"Are you sure?" Uryû asked suddenly. Ichigo blinked.

"Huh? Of course! Why wouldn't I be?!" He demanded. Chad frowned.

"Well... He's an Espada... If he's let back in Hueco Mundo, in his old body, he'll be able to help Aizen kill everyone..." He mumbled.

"What we need to do is make him think we're looking for a way to get him back, but really, we'll simply keep him here..." Uryû murmured. Ichigo gaped at him.

"What?! No way! I'm not keeping him here until he grows up all over again! Guys, we can't do that to him! He may be a total dickhead, but... That's just not right to lie to him!" He protested.

"Why do you CARE?" Uryû asked. Ichigo blinked, then frowned.

"... Because. I've been wanting to face Grimmjow off for a long time now... I can't do that if he's like this. It's unfair..."

"Look, we should talk to Captain Hitsugaaya and the others about this. I'm sure they'll have a good resolution." Uryû sighed. Ichigo only rolled his eyes, then looked at Chad.

"You guys go tell Toshirô then about the situation. Right now, I'll take him upstairs and let him sleep..." He muttered. Chad nodded and handed the limp Espada to Ichigo, who held Grimmjow around the torso.

"Good luck." Uryû said smugly before departing with Chad. Ichigo glared after him, his eye twitching angrily.

"Smug bastard." He muttered, then looked down at Grimmjow, who was still unconscious. He sighed, then turned, and carried Grimmjow to his room.

Yuzu and Karin had begun to follow him about the time he made it up the stairs.

"Oh, you found Grimmjow!" Yuzu exclaimed. Karin blinked.

"Grimmjow...?" She asked. Yuzu nodded. Ichigo rolled his eyes and shushed them.

"Quiet... I don't want him to wake up any time soon. All I need is peace and quiet. Go downstairs and wait for dad to get home. Tell him I was hired to baby-sit him, got it?" He asked. His sisters nodded and left him. Ichigo rolled his eyes and opened up his bedroom door.

"ICHIGOOOOO!!" Ichigo winced as Kon came flying at his face. He quickly caught Kon by the mouth, shushing him.

"Sssh!" He hissed. Kon squirmed and tried to pry his stuffed body from Ichigo's grip when he saw Grimmjow.

"What the Hell is he doing here?!" Kon demanded when he freed himself and landed on his feet on the floor. Ichigo walked to the bed and carefully set Grimmjow down on his stomach.

"Shut up. Don't be so loud or he'll wake up."

"He looks a lot smaller since I last saw him... Then again, everyone seems bigger than me." Kon sniffed melodramatically as he wiped a tear from his eye. Ichigo scowled.

"I'd like to know what happened to, but I don't think he knows anything about it... Uryû and Chad said they found him like this, so I sent them over to Toshirô's place to talk to him about it... For now, let him sleep. I don't want to be around him when he wakes up, so I'll be downstairs. Don't wake him up!" He hissed, clenching a fist in Kon's face.

The stuffed lion waved his hands around and zipped his lips. Ichigo stared at him for a moment, then left, closing the door and locking it. Kon watched him go, then walked over to the bed quietly. He looked up to the form on the bed.

Grimmjow lay on his stomach, his hands pulled up near his head. He looked harmless in his sleep, Kon noted, but it was simply a ploy. Hell, everyone looked peaceful when they slept, but that didn't mean everyone was nice.

"Like Ichigo." Kon muttered to himself, tapping his cheek with a paw.

_PING!_ Grimmjow's eyes flew open and quickly adjusted to his surroundings and waking up to find a little stuffed lion talking to himself on the floor... Well, that didn't go over well.

"AAHH!! What the Fuck?! Who the Hell are you?!" He barked, scrambling up into a sitting position against the wall. Kon jumped back, holding up a hand as comical lines exploded around him in alarm.

"Ehh!! You're awake!"

"Damn straight, I'm awake! Where am I?!"

"In Ichigo's room! Please don't kill me! I'm just a poor defenseless lion!" Kon sniffed innocently as he clasped his paws together. Grimmjow crinkled his nose in distaste.

"Che, whatever... Hm," He mused, looking around, "So this is Kurosaki's room? Looks boring... And way too small."

"Tell me about it. He throws me in the closet." Kon muttered, rubbing the back of his head, then pulled himself up onto the bed. Grimmjow watched him, raising an eyebrow.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Kon! You must be Grimmjow, that guy Ichigo talks about..." Kon mused. Grimmjow frowned and opened his mouth to speak, but his stomach growled, interrupting him. Kon smirked.

"Looks like you're hungry!" He exclaimed, poking Grimmjow in the gut. Grimmjow crinkled his nose up again and placed a hand over his solid stomach.

"Yea, well... I haven't eaten since... Lunch..."

"I'm sure Ichigo will come up soon and get you something to eat."

"I bet you he won't." Grimmjow muttered.

"Why's that?" Kon asked as he sat down in front of the Espada, who pulled his knees to his chest.

"Kurosaki hates me and I hate him. I don't trust him to feed me. He could try and poison me or something stupid..."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Kon drawled, "Ichigo may hate your guts and wish you were a dead kitten-"

"Hey!"

"-But Ichigo's not that kind of person. He likes fair square fights and is probably trying to find a way to get you back to normal." Kon finished. Grimmjow pursed his lips, tilting his head at the small stuffed lion.

"Hmph..." He retorted. Kon only laughed.

"Fine, don't believe me, but it's true. I live with him!" He pointed out. Grimmjow rolled his eyes and rested his chin on his knees.

"This is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life. Conversing with a talking stuffed lion in my enemy's bedroom in the body of a fucking eight-year-old!" He groaned and turned his face to look at his lap.

Kon watched the Espada sulk, rubbing the back of his head with a pout.

"Well, jeez. Ichigo doesn't like me either, but he's not that blunt with me..." He mumbled, then looked out the window with a bored expression.

Within no time, Ichigo was up the stairs with a bag of potato chips. Kon jumped up from his cloud gazing.

"Ichigo, you're back! Finally! I've been listening to this guy's stomach all day!" He exclaimed. Grimmjow peeked past his knees to glare at the teenager, who looked at him with a look of pity.

"I could only get a hold of these... My family's out shopping for food, so dinner should be ready soon. Here." Ichigo said, holding out the chips. Grimmjow eyed them suspiciously, then glared at Ichigo again.

"How do I know you didn't do anything to them?" He demanded.

"Because. You may be a sick fuck, but that doesn't make me one." Ichigo answered.

"Fuck off!" Grimmjow barked. Ichigo rolled his eyes and dropped the bag on the bed in front of Grimmjow.

"About that. Kids in this world don't say things like that, so knock it off."

"You gonna make me?"

"Not me, but your teacher."

"What teacher?!"

"I had to enroll you at the elementary school in town. You'll be going there during the same times as me so you have something to do during the day. When we get home, then we can discuss the matter of your, uhm, odd situation." Ichigo mumbled. Grimmjow twitched and snatched up the bag, tearing it open.

"I'm not going to some stupid human school! I may look like a kid to you, but I'm still the same person!" He snapped and grabbed a handful of chips, crushing them in his fist as he dumped them in his mouth. Ichigo frowned, watching him.

"Unfortunately, that's the case. However, that's not what everybody else will see. Remember those guys from the alleyway yesterday?" He asked. Grimmjow remembered and he hated those guys too.

"So what?" He demanded as he crunched down on some chips.

"Guys like that are all over the place here. And what did they see when they looked at you?" Ichigo asked. Grimmjow stopped eating and looked into the chip bag with a look of defeat and realization. Ichigo nodded at Grimmjow's sudden silence and stall of actions.

"Exactly... People here won't see you as the big scary Espada you were before. Not to mention, your hollow powers are limited here, so you won't always be able to protect yourself. At the school, you'll be protected all the time by the staff. After school, you'll be with me or even one of the other Soul Reapers. So, you'll be guarded at all times."

"Who do you think you're talking to? Besides, are you sure about that? Are you really guarding ME or your pathetic race?" Grimmjow demanded. Ichigo blinked and looked away at the floor.

Who was he protecting? Grimmjow? Humans? His fellow Soul Reapers?

"This mood is too depressing!" Kon cried, breaking into all the silence. Ichigo and Grimmjow glared at him and he jumped back.

"Yow! Lots of heat in those glares! You two are cruel!" Kon whined, then hopped off the bed and went to the closet, grumbling. Ichigo shook his head, then stood up.

"After dinner, we'll go talk to Captain Hitsugaaya about the situation. After that, we can go pick up the supplies you'll need for school. Hurry up and eat those or else Yuzu will think you don't want to eat her cooking." He added. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"You're not the boss of me."

"I am in this house. And as you'll soon realize, a lot of people will be the boss of you in this world, not only me." Ichigo said and left the room. Grimmjow stared after him, eyes an icy pair of daggers.

_Che! Yea right! We'll see about that!_ He thought with a snort and practically inhaled the chips.

**xxxxx**

After dinner, and a long awkward silence when Grimmjow met Ichigo's dad, Ichigo led the way to Orihime's house.

"Your world is stuffy," Grimmjow grumbled, "It's like you've got heavy air."

"Hm? Oh," Ichigo blinked, "That's right... Hueco Mundo isn't polluted. Not to mention, your atmosphere is made of reishi. Here in the human world, we have toxic gases that flow into the atmosphere from factories, automobiles, and other things."

"Che, that's complicated. So far, I hate your world." Grimmjow spat as they crossed a street. Ichigo smirked and shoved his hands into the pockets of his gray jeans, the chains connected to his hip clinking as he walked.

"You're not the only one. Other hollows, Soul Reapers, and even humans don't exactly like a world like this. Although, humans don't know what reishi is..." He added under his breath. Grimmjow frowned.

"That's stupid."

"Yea, so are hollows, but I'm not complaining."

"Shut up, you fucking cuntface!" Grimmjow shouted. Ichigo flinched as people on the streets turned to gape and stare at Grimmjow, who had stopped to glare.

"Grimmjow, shut up. I told you, kids in this world don't talk like that." He scolded. Grimmjow scowled.

"Fuck you. Just because I'm stuck here, doesn't mean I have to play by your stupid rules."

"You're embarrassing." Ichigo muttered and grabbed Grimmjow's hand, practically dragging him to Orihime's house. As they walked up the steps, Ichigo still gripping Grimmjow's hand tightly, he knocked on the door. Ichigo sent Grimmjow a glare, then released his hand. Grimmjow shook his head, wincing a bit.

The door opened and revealed the busty, orange-haired female. Ichigo smiled at her.

"Orihime, good to see you." He greeted. Orihime smiled, then glanced down at Grimmjow nervously.

"Hitsugaaya wanted to talk to you... About him..." She mumbled, stepping side to let them in. Ichigo sighed.

"I thought so." He muttered. Orihime closed the door behind them and gestured to the bedroom.

"They're in there." She said.

"Thanks." Ichigo led the way to the room and opened the sliding door. In the room, Hitsugaaya was standing near a large, very odd-looking screen with Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto. Ikkaku and Yumichika were also present.

"About time. I was expecting you ASAP." Hitsugaaya muttered, tapping his foot impatiently. Rangiku blinked and bent down, poking Grimmjow in the nose.

"Is this really the same guy?" She asked in surprise.

"Hey! Shove that finger up your ass, you fucking-"

"Shut up, Grimmjow." Ichigo hissed. Rangiku raised an eyebrow, standing up.

"Wow. Yea, that's him all right. I recognize that foul-mouth anywhere." She said, shaking her head. Ikkaku smirked.

"I wouldn't of believed it if I didn't hear it." He laughed. Yumichika snickered.

"Oh, god. This is definitely one for the books."

"Shut your faces!" Grimmjow barked angrily, clenching his fists. Suddenly, the large screen flickered and turned on to reveal the Head Captain upon the screen with a grim expression. Captain Ukitake stood beside him, also looking grim.

"Good evening, Captain Hitsugaaya... And Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques..." Captain Yamamoto greeted firmly.

"Head Captain Yamamoto, good evening." Hitsugaaya greeted back with a short bow. Grimmjow glared at the screen, folding his arms over his chest.

"Yea, whatever. What the Hell do you Soul Reapers want? As if my life wasn't complicated enough without you maggots meddling with it." He growled.

"Enough," Yamamoto muttered, obviously irritated by the disrespect, "It seems we have quite a problem here. We've done research, but haven't been able to pick up any sort of information on how you ended up in such a state, Jeagerjaques. There's been much debate on what your fate is. All the captains have taken a vote, including Hitsugaaya there."

"A vote on what?" Grimmjow demanded.

"Whether we should assist you in your quest to return back to normal... Or if we should simply keep you that way. There was also the last vote if we should just kill you." Yamamoto informed. Grimmjow gritted his teeth.

"Che! I don't care about your stupid vote! I'll kill all you worthless Soul Reapers!! I'm not staying like this for the rest of my life, hear me?!" He yelled. Ichigo gave Grimmjow a smack over the head, making him hiss past clenched teeth.

"Silence! Your foul language and impudence will greatly affect the next vote taken by the lieutenants tomorrow evening! If all the votes come together as putting you out of your misery, and ours, then we will carry it out. I was informed that your hollow powers are still activate, however, a couple rounds of your ceros will knock you unconscious. If you truly believe two ceros will wipe out the Soul Society, please be my guest and attempt it, Jeagerjaques!" Yamamoto bellowed, his anger evident.

Grimmjow stared at the screen, his expression twisting into pure anger and disbelief. After a moment for this to sink in, Yamamoto continued in a calmer tone.

"Until all the votes are tallied, you will remain with Kurosaki under his rules. You are not to leave his sight, and if it comes to that, the other Soul Reapers present will be around to keep a close eye on you. You may be in the body of a child, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, and may not be a true threat to anyone... But your past deeds greatly effect the results now..."

"I would like to receive a report every day from now on of the movements in Karakura town. I expect the rest of you to follow orders accordingly... Good day, Soul Reapers. Jeagerjaques." Yamamoto nodded and the screen turned off.

"All right," Hitsugaaya said, turning to the others, "Ichigo, this means you need to be on high alert. It's obvious that Grimmjow's going to be a handful-"

"Fuck you!" Grimmjow cried angrily.

"-So I suggest you take at least one person with you when you go about normal business after school." Hitsugaaya finished, ignoring the Espada. Ichigo nodded.

"I wouldn't mind helping Ichigo! He sure is a nasty little thing, but he's so adorable!" Rangiku beamed as she pinched Grimmjow's left cheek. Grimmjow yelped and pulled away.

"Ow! Watch it, lady!!"

"Good luck, Ichigo." Hitsugaaya muttered as Ichigo rolled his eyes. Grimmjow let out a snort of disgust.

"Che! I'd like to see how you handle things with this guy as your captain! Hell, he's almost as short as I am!" He retorted, jabbing at thumb at Hitsugaaya, who twitched angrily.

A vein pounded in the white-haired Captain's forehead as he clenched his fists at his sides.

"GET OUT! All of you!"

Nothing more needed to be said as all the Soul Reapers, including Orihime, bolted from the house. Now standing outside, they stood in a circle.

"What're we gonna do?" Ikkaku asked, irritated.

"Taking care of him as a normal human would be hard enough, but with him having the power to release one cero? That sounds like a hassle." Yumichika muttered.

"They've do got a point," Rangiku sighed, "If he misses with one cero, he can wipe us out with the second..."

"Don't be silly," Ichigo said firmly, "If we could defend ourselves from him before, this isn't any different."

"Uhm... Guys...?" Orihime asked nervously.

"What?" Ichigo asked.

"... Where'd Grimmjow go?" She asked. Ichigo blinked, then whirled around.

"WHAAA?!?!" The spot beside him was empty.

"GRIMMJOW!!!!"

****

**A/N: Ahhh, refreshing. :3 I like this chapter. :D Much better, I think, than the last one. I hope I'm keeping them... Somewhat close... In character... xD Anyway, prepare for the next chapter. Coming ASAP!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three. :D I had a little bit of time to post this shorter chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tite Kubo's characters~!!**

**WARNING: Complete and utter randomness. Humor scenes and sad scenes...**

****

Chapter Three: Time For School!!

Grimmjow ran down the street, his sneakers smacking on the pavement. A nice stream of clouds came from his mouth as the night grew cold. There was no way he was ever going to go back to those stupid Soul Reapers so they could destroy him with their stupid way of life.

He bolted right out into the street, causing cars to screech to a halt followed by streams of curses. Grimmjow was too busy running at high speed to stop and scream back. He kept running right on into the city. He paused somewhere near an alley that led into a parking lot and a bakery. He bent over, panting with exhaustion.

_Damn this small body! I can't run very far without getting tired... God, life sucks in a human body._ He thought bitterly, then looked up when heard a meow. A black cat came running out of the parking lot and looked up at him, tilting its head with a meow.

Grimmjow blinked and got on his hunches, frowning to get a closer look. He held his hand out, pouting stubbornly.

"Come 'ere, kitty..." He urged and made a very realistic meow. The cat perked up and came sauntering over, then rubbed its head into Grimmjow's palm. Grimmjow frowned still as he pet the cat on the head.

"Life sucks, cat. I don't even know how I got here... And that stupid Kurosaki and those fucking ass Soul Reapers trying to get involved. It's none of their business..." He muttered. The cat purred and out its front paws on Grimmjow's chest, cuddling its face against his neck.

He smirked at the attention, but it was short lived when heard a familiar voice not that far behind him.

"Somebody saw him go this way, Ichigo!" Rangiku's voice called. Grimmjow scooped the cat into his arms and ran into the parking lot, ducking behind a small dumpster.

He sat still, holding the cat in his lap. The cat meowed and licked his hand. Grimmjow gave the cat a weird look, then peeked around the corner of the trashcan as he watched the Soul Reapers run right on by. He sighed with relief and sank against the dumpster.

"That was a close one..." He muttered, shutting his eyes.

"Yea, they almost caught you." A voice chuckled. Grimmjow's eyes flew open and he jumped up, the cat flying off his lap. He whirled around and found himself staring at Kisuke Urahara.

"You! You're that annoying Soul Reaper-"

"Kisuke, Grimmjow. Even as a child, you're still dimwitted." Kisuke said dryly as the cat sat at his feet. Grimmjow frowned, folding his arms over his chest.

"If you think you're going to turn me into those Soul Reapers, you're dead wrong, hear me?!" He barked. Kisuke smiled and flicked his fan open in front of his face, his breath coming out in clouds behind it.

"Of course not. Why would I do that?" He asked. Grimmjow blinked, then glared.

"What the hell are you gonna do then?"

"Well..."

**xxxxx**

Grimmjow swallowed a large portion of raw meat and followed it up with a huge gulp of the ramen noodle soup. Kisuke watched, petting the cat in his lap.

"My, my. Is Ichigo starving you or what?" He asked. Grimmjow stuffed a roll into his mouth.

"Damn straift, that thucking dickhace coulen't ethen take caw of his thupid lion." He answered past the globs of food in his mouth and swallowed all of it down whole. Kisuke raised an eyebrow.

"Kon? I told him to watch him..." He muttered, glancing at the cat, who meowed.

"Who's the chick anyway?" Grimmjow asked. Kisuke looked at him, confused.

"What chick?"

"Your cat. Yoruichi or somethin' like that." Grimmjow said past a mouthful of meat. The cat meowed in confusion. Kisuke smirked.

"How'd you know? She's usually good at fooling people." He mused. Grimmjow shrugged as he finished off his mountain of food.

"Dunno. Cat thing, I guess." He replied, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and burped. Kisuke rolled his eyes behind his fan as the cat meowed a laugh.

"Mmmm... You got a bed? I'm tired..." Grimmjow mumbled, rubbing at his eye sleepily. Kisuke nodded, smiling.

"Next room over. You can nap there, but I'd suggest you take off in the morning..."

"Mm hm. Whatever." Grimmjow answered tiredly and got up and staggered to the room, collapsing on the bed on the floor. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was asleep.

Kisuke watched from the doorway, smirking, then closed it and turned to the puff of smoke that appeared in the place of the cat as well as a woman.

"He's an interesting Espada, but it's not safe to keep him here." Yoruichi mused as she flipped her purple hair over her shoulder. Kisuke shrugged as he hand her a loose fitting orange yukata.

"Meh. He'll probably leave before we wake up tomorrow morning. Ichigo sure got tangled up in some problems this time. Hiding an Espada like Grimmjow when he should be watching him..." He mused.

"Agreed... Well, I'm going to sleep. Long day."

"Sure thing. Night." Kisuke answered, watching Yoruichi depart, then smirked to himself.

"Good-bye, Grimmjow." He said to himself and left. Back in the room, Grimmjow was curled up on the bed, fast asleep.

**xxxxx**

By morning, as Kisuke predicted, Grimmjow was up and ready to leave when he heard the familiar voices of the Soul Reapers at Kisuke's front door. He leapt out of the bed and ran to the window. He scrambled out and fell on his stomach outside.

"Ow." He grunted, then scurried to his feet and bolted to the large cement wall surrounding the parking lot. He looked up, glaring. _Damn! I'm too short! How the Hell do I get out now?!_ He thought angrily.

"Grimmjow!" Grimmjow whirled around as Ichigo made his appearance at the other end of the space between the shop and the wall. Grimmjow glared.

"Fuck off, Kurosaki!"

"Grimmjow, quit playing around! I have to watch you!"

"And kill me, but I won't die, fucking got that, Soul Reaper?!"

"Grimmjow, listen to me-"

"No! Fuck off!" Grimmjow barked and swung his hand up. Ichigo flinched as a large sphere of red energy gathered up in Grimmjow's palm.

_KA-BOOM!!_ The cero blasted forth and aimed at its target. Grimmjow gasped and collapsed on his ass, wincing. He looked down at his hand, panting as scorch marks burnt into his palm. He grimaced, then forced to himself to his feet, stumbling a bit.

Before he could make a run for it, a familiar strong pair of arms lifted him up under his arms and off the ground.

"Got you." Renji's voice said in his ear. Grimmjow tilted his head away from the loud voice in his ear.

"Ngh, don't be so loud..." He complained, hearing the footsteps of the others approaching.

"That was close," Ichigo muttered as he rested his zanpakuto on his shoulder, "I could've gotten hit. Grimmjow, watch where you throw those things!"

"Make me... Quit fucking shouting! I got a headache!" Grimmjow barked angrily. Renji frowned.

"The effort to make one cero's already drained him half way... Going to school today could be lethal, Ichigo. What if someone catches him alone?" He asked.

"Someone will have to guard the elementary..." Ichigo murmured.

"I will!" Rangiku volunteered.

"You're such a pedophile, Rangiku." Yumichika huffed, flipping his hair. Ikkaku chuckled as Rangiku pouted.

"No, I just want anyone to hurt poor Grimmjow. He's so cute as a child!" She pointed out, pulling Grimmjow from Renji's arms, which still stayed up after she pull him away. Grimmjow groaned in disgust.

"Somebody shoot me." He muttered. Renji dropped his eyes, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever... I don't like the idea of Grimmjow even being around us, but if that's what the Head Captain ordered, fine... There has to be a good reason." He sighed.

"Let's just get him ready for school." Ichigo said as Rangiku set Grimmjow on his feet.

"Fuck you! I'm not going to school and you're not gonna make me, you fucking dickhead!" Grimmjow yelled. Ichigo grinned cruelly.

"Is that so...?"

**xxxxx**

"I can't believe this is happening to me." Grimmjow groaned as Rangiku led him to the main office of the elementary school by the hand.

"Cool it. Just act like a normal kid." Rangiku said as she stood at front desk. Grimmjow looked at her with a 'che, yea right', then turned to see a kid standing behind them with his mother. The kid was chomping his gum way too loudly.

_KA-THWACK!_ Grimmjow landed a punch in the kid's face, causing him to swallow his gum.

"WAHHHH!!!!" The kid wailed.

"Oh my!" Rangiku exclaimed. The opposite mother quickly tended to her own son, glaring at Grimmjow.

"I am so sorry, ma'am. It won't happen again," Rangiku assured, then turned to Grimmjow and whacked him over the head, "Be nice to the other kids, even if they bug the crap out of you!"

"Ow! You hit me like that again, bitch, and I'll tear your liver out with my teeth!" Grimmjow shouted. Everyone in the hallway, including the woman at the desk, stared at them as if they had both grown extra limbs.

"Sorry about that," Rangiku said to the woman at the desk, "My name is Rangiku Matsumoto. This is... My son Grimmjow. I had my husband call to enroll him?"

"... Ahhh, let's see... Ah, yes. Grimmjow. He's in room 56 down the hallway with Mr. Hanazawa." The woman said with a nod.

"Thank you!" Rangiku beamed and led Grimmjow down the hallway where people easily parted to make way for the freakish mother and her freakish so-called child.

"Okay, I'll be watching in disguise, so you better behave or I'll jump in and smack you, got it?" Rangiku asked as she stopped at the classroom. Grimmjow glared at her.

"I hate you."

"Oh, good! So we both agree on something! Oh, you're just so adorable in the school outfit~"

"Get outta here, ya sorry son of a bitch or I'll vaccum whatever brains you have left!" Grimmjow yelled. Rangiku smacked him, then soothed the smack with a kiss before running off down the hallway like she was running through a field of flowers.

Grimmjow glared after her, rubbing his sore cheek, then peeked into the classroom. Children ran around everywhere, playing tag or coloring things or playing with toys. Grimmjow groaned and pressed his back to the hallway.

"Somebody kill me..."

"Now, now. Come in, sir." A voice said. Grimmjow jerked his head up to see a tall, lanky looking teacher with a pair of small square glasses. He glared.

"Are you gonna make me?" He demanded. Mr. Hanazawa smiled.

"Don't be afraid. I'm sure you'll make some friends very soon."

"I don't want any stupid friends!"

"Come on. Follow me and I'll show you your seat." The teacher said and led Grimmjow into the room and showed him a small desk. Grimmjow scowled at the desk and looked away stubbornly. Mr. Hanazawa smiled, then took quick note to the piece of skull fragment on Grimmjow's right jaw.

"And what's this?" He asked. Grimmjow frowned.

"None of your business!"

"You're a very grumpy child, aren't you? Why's your cheek red?"

"My so-called bitch of a mother smacked me!" Grimmjow barked. Mr. Hanazawa sweated.

"Oh my..." He mumbled, then pushed his glasses up on his nose and left Grimmjow to do his own thing.

Oh, that was such a dangerous move, Mr. Hanazawa. Grimmjow whirled around, glaring at all the kids, who were still messing around.

_I never thought I'd say this, but... I miss Las Noches and all those other bastard Espada!!_

****

**A/N: Okay, I wrote this whole thing in an hour, so sorry for any spelling errors. lol. ^^; Thank you so very much for reading and look out for the next chapter! Grimmjow definitely proves to be a naughty student. ;D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's another long, totally random chapter for you! ^^**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tite Kubo's characters~!!**

**WARNINGS: Complete and utter randomness! Humor and sad scenes.**

****

Chapter Four: GUM

Only five minutes into the school day and Grimmjow had gotten into his second fight. He sat on the same gum chewing kid from before, beating his face in.

"SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH! QUIT CHEWING YOUR GUM LIKE YOU HAVE GUM DISEASE OR SOMETHING!" He shouted. Mr. Hanazawa came rushing over, pulling Grimmjow off the gum kid.

"Grimmjow! You apologize right now!" He scolded, holding the squirming eight-year-old. The kid with the gum, which he swallowed when Grimmjow knocked his front teeth in, sniffled. Grimmjow scowled.

"Over my dead body, fuck-" He was whacked upside the head and everyone turned to find Rangiku, with a fake mustache on and wearing a janitor's outfit.

"Hey! You can't hit a student!" Mr. Hanazawa snapped, dropping Grimmjow to chase the fake janitor. Grimmjow glared after them.

"This place makes Las Noches look normal." He muttered.

"My name's Gamu." A voice said. Grimmjow turned to glare, then blinked when he met with the kid who he had just beat up.

"... 'Gamu'? As in 'gum'?" He demanded. Gamu beamed, showing off his two missing front teeth.

"Yea!"

"I can tell where you got your stupid name."

"Mr. Hanazawa said your name was Grimmjow, right?"

"Yea, so what?"

"Wanna hang out?" Gamu asked. Grimmjow looked at him like he had grown a third head. (HA! -shot-)

"What? I just beat your teeth into your stomach! Why the fuck would you be friends with me?!" He barked. Gamu shrugged.

"Cuz. If I hang out with you, other kids won't beat me up." He replied. Grimmjow frowned.

"Well, no wonder you get beat up. You chew your gum like its gonna disappear." He muttered. Gamu smiled.

"That and cuz my family's messed up."

"...?"

"So can we be friends? Just for a little while?" Gamu asked. Grimmjow sighed, scratching the side of his head.

"Fine, whatever." He muttered to the brunette boy. Gamu beamed happily.

_This is gonna be a long day..._ Grimmjow thought bitterly.

**xxxxx**

Meanwhile, up the bright blue, cloud painted sky, a strange scratchy broke record sort of sound came as a strange portal opened up in a blocked fashion. A figure stepped out, a hand tucked in his pocket while his other dropped at his side.

Ulquiorra stepped through the portal, his green eyes lowering to the city below. They narrowed slightly and he disappeared in a flash as the portal closed. He hated baby-sitting jobs, especially when they involved a little loud-mouthed Espada like Grimmjow Jeagerjaques...

**xxxxx**

Grimmjow sat on the roof of a small playhouse on the playground as Gamu sat beside him, looking around in wonder.

"Wow, this is really up high!"

"I've been higher."

"So, Grimmjow, why do you wear that little thing on your face?"

"...? Be more specific, stupid!" Grimmjow snapped angrily, glaring at Gamu, who kept smiling stupidly. He pointed to the fragment of the hollow mask. Grimmjow scowled, folding his arms over his chest.

"It's my hollow mask, midget! It-" He stopped, noticing Rangiku, now disguised as a passersby on the other side of the fence, waving her arms as a signal for him to stop.

"Hollow mask? What's that?" Gamu asked curiously. Grimmjow glared at him, then smirked.

"It's a bone that I was born with."

"A bone on the outside of your body?! Cool!"

"Damn straight it is."

"Grimmjow, why do you say bad words a lot?"

"They're not bad, fuckface! They're just like any other fucking word!"

"My mommy would smack me if I said that."

"Che, my mommy- ACK! I meant to say that lady who brought me here always smacks me!" Grimmjow spat, then smacked his forehead. Gamu laughed. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Haha! Funny, kid!" He pushed Gamu off the roof and landed in the sand below. Grimmjow started laughing wildly as Gamu scrambled to his feet, shaking the sand off him.

"Hey! That wasn't funny!" Gamu cried, but there was still a smile on his face. Grimmjow was a mean person, but for some reason, Gamu realized, he didn't mind hanging out with him. Suddenly a hand grabbed Gamu's shoulder and jerked him to the sand again.

He found himself looking up at three fourth grade boys, smirking at him.

"Hey, guys! It's gum boy, where's your teeth, gum boy? Finally chew them away?" The black haired leader taunted. Grimmjow frowned, watching from his perch high above the playground. Gamu gulped.

"Er, uhm, well-"

"God! you chew so much gum you can't even speak, stupid!" A second blonde boy laughed.

"Beat him up, Kizoku!" The other boy said to the leader. Kizoku grinned and reeled his fist back and started to bring it forward into Gamu's face, but a hand grabbed his fist and tore it back. Kizoku yelped and whirled around. Grimmjow glared at him, still gripping his fist tightly.

"Hey, fuck off, you sack of shit!" He snapped. Kizoku smirked.

"And who're you, freak?" He demanded.

"Your worst nightmare, shithead!" Grimmjow barked and twisted Kizoku's arm behind his back and pushing him down, making the boy howl in pain. Grimmjow sat on his back, still holding his arm up higher.

"Remember my name, cuntface! Grimmjow Jeagerjaques!" He yelled and reeled his fist back and punched Kizoku in the side of the face. Kids crowded around to watch as Grimmjow beat the living hell out of the poor fourth grader. Gamu watched in awe, his jaw dropped.

Mr. Hanazawa rushed out when he saw the scene.

"Grimmjow! Grimmjow, that's enough!" He ordered and grabbed Grimmjow up by the collar of his white school uniform. Kizoku was wailing now, holding his bloody nose as a bruise formed on his eye, jaw, and arms. His friends stared in shock. Gamu winced. Mr. Hanazawa began to carry Grimmjow away to the office with Gamu following close behind.

Meanwhile, just outside the fence, the spot Rangiku abandoned to flee to the office as well, Ulquiorra watched with a blank expression.

_Hm... That was interesting... Grimmjow defended that child, a human no less... Hm... I wonder what Lord Aizen would think about this..._ He thought, his green eyes flickering as he vanished once again.

**xxxxx**

"I can't believe you did that, Grimmjow! The kid's goin' to the hospital..." Gamu added softly, lowering his eyes. Grimmjow snorted.

"Who fucking cares?! And you! I should be kicking your ass too!" He snapped, grabbing the front of Gamu's uniform. Gamu squeaked.

"Me?! Why me?!"

"Because! You fucking idiot! You don't stand there and let people look down on you! Are you stupid?! You should've beat that kid up!"

"B-But, I would've gotten in trouble-"

"WHO CARES?!?! As long as you fucking feel good about beating that kid up! Don't let people stomp on you, shithead, unless you like being called gum boy or stupid, stupid!" Grimmjow yelled in his face. Gamu stared at him, tears having welled up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He mumbled as Grimmjow released him. Grimmjow only scowled and looked the other way as Rangiku came running down the hallway... A fake mustache falling off her face.

"Excuse me! I got a call from the school?" She asked. The desk lady stared at her.

"Uhm... Yes... You've got a little..." She gestured to her lip. Rangiku tore it off, wincing in the process.

"Sorry. What has my son done now?" She demanded.

"He beat up a fourth grader, who's in the hospital with a broken nose." The lady muttered. Rangiku turned to glare at Grimmjow on the bench nearby. Grimmjow held up his middle finger. Gamu sweated.

After a long talk with the office, Rangiku came out, sighing.

"You're suspended... and on the first day of school, Grimmjow!" She cried, taking his hand and pulling him off the bench. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"I don't give a fuck! And quit holding my hand, do I look like a fucking third grader?!" He shouted.

"YES. YOU DO! But you're not acting like one!" Rangiku snapped. Grimmjow only glared at her in silence. Gamu watched them leave sadly; wishing Grimmjow would at least behave once in a while...

**xxxxx**

"Suspended already?" Ichigo asked, perplexed. Rangiku nodded, folding her arms over her chest and huffing.

"He's horrible! He sent a fourth grader to the hospital with a broken nose..." She muttered. Ichigo gasped and glared at Grimmjow, who was playing a PS2 against Renji.

"He fucking deserved it! That fucking idiot was picking on Gamu and it was fucking annoying!" He yelled loudly as he hit the circle button repeatedly. Renji winced, then groaned as he dropped the handle.

"I lost again!" He complained. Ichigo opened his mouth to yell, then stopped and blinked.

"Who's Gamu?" He asked. Grimmjow bit into a slice of pizza, glaring at Ichigo out the corner of his eye.

"Some kid I met in that classroom. God, he's such an idiot." He muttered. Rangiku looked at him.

"You mean the kid you punched when I was signing you in?" She asked. Grimmjow nodded and shrugged.

"I beat him up twice, but he still kept insisting on following me. Annoying as Hell, I tell you. What a weakling. He gets picked on all the time, but doesn't do shit about it! I hate pathetic people like that!" He retorted.

"Awww, Grimmjow made a friend!" Yumichika cooed from the bed, holding a People Magazine. Grimmjow glared and threw his plate at the Soul Reaper, who yelped and ducked.

"My wall!" Ichigo cried.

"My head!" Yumichika yelled. Renji snickered. Grimmjow grabbed his bowl of ice cream and whipped it around into Renji's face.

"AH! COLD!" Renji cried, flailing. Yumichika laughed. Rangiku giggled. Grimmjow stood up and put his hands on his hips, smirking at Renji.

"Damn straight it's cold, stupid!" He boosted.

"Come here, I'll pulverize you!" Renji threatened, scrambling to his feet and making a lunge at him. Grimmjow ducked and Renji flew right over him, slamming into the wall by Yumichika and falling onto the bed. Yumichika burst out laughing even harder. Ichigo laughed.

"You just got beat by an eight-year-old, Renji!" He taunted. Renji scowled, rubbing his head as he sat up.

"He ducked, god..." He muttered. Grimmjow held up his middle finger.

"FUCK YOU." He stated. Renji whirled around and made a whack at his head, but another duck caused Renji to lose his balance and land on the floor.

"AHAHAHAHA!" Rangiku joined Ichigo and Yumichika in laughter. Grimmjow watched Renji jump to his feet.

"You little-"

"Uh oh." Came a voice from the closet. Everyone turned as Kon jumped out, holding an empty bag of chips.

"No more potato chips!" He cried, shaking them the empty bag. Grimmjow glared.

"You ate all of them?! Where do you put it all, cottonhead?!" He yelled.

"We'll get some tomorrow. It's almost nine and you need sleep, Grimmjow. I'll have to take you to a daycare tomorrow." Ichigo muttered.

"No way! I can stay home myself! I don't need a stupid damn babysitter!" Grimmjow yelled.

"I can stay home and watch him." Rangiku offered. Ichigo eyed her suspiciously.

"You sure?" He asked. Rangiku beamed and nodded, jerking Grimmjow, who was fighting with Renji, into her arms in a crushing hug.

"I'd love to watch the kid! He's so cute!" She cooed. Grimmjow squirmed in her grip, choking.

"Ack, let go, damn it! Your boobs are fucking suffocating my midget lungs!" He shouted.

"All right," Ichigo cut in, making Rangiku drop Grimmjow, "Let's at least calm down... My sisters are probably sleeping by now. They have school too..."

"Yea, whatever..." Grimmjow muttered and turned back to the PS2.

**xxxxx**

Later that night, after Ichigo came back from the shop with juice and chips, he frowned to find his room crowded. Yumichika was occupying his bed, fast asleep with his arm around Renji, who was half falling off the bed with Rangiku sleeping on the floor in an awkward position. Ichigo turned to the TV and blinked.

Grimmjow was fast asleep in the beanbag chair in front of the small TV and PS2 set that Rangiku had brought by. An empty bottle of juice still in his hand and a piece of pizza hanging out of his mouth. Ichigo sighed and set the bags down on his desk and walked over, taking the pizza from Grimmjow's mouth and setting it on a nearby desk along with the empty bottle.

He got a blanket out of the closet, avoiding to wake up Kon, who was hanging by a clothes hanger. Probably Grimmjow's idea of 'funny'. He walked back to Grimmjow and tossed a blanket on him, then went to the bed. He stopped, staring at Yumichika and Renji, then smirked. He got a camera, snickering.

"This is definitely one for the books."

**xxxxx**

Meanwhile, somewhere within the confines of Las Noches in Hueco Mundo, Ulquiorra stood before Aizen with the news he had gathered. Aizen sighed.

"I see... That's unfortunate... I can't have Grimmjow terrorizing Las Noches as a child... Ulquiorra, would you like to do something for me?" It wasn't really a question.

It was a demand.

Ulquiorra only glanced at him silently, waiting for the order. Aizen smiled widely.

"I need you to spy on Grimmjow closely while here's there. The Soul Reapers must have something to do with this, so find out anything you can..."

"And if Grimmjow or the Soul Reapers get suspicious?"

"... You're good at fibbing, aren't you, Ulquiorra? Use your imagination..." Aizen drawled. Ulquiorra gave a short bow, then whirled around, and left the room with a plan already in mind as he went to visit Szayel, the Octava Espada.

**xxxxx**

The next morning, everyone was waking up one by one as Ichigo's alarm went off. Yumichika opened his eyes and spasmed, hopping out of the bed.

"EEEK! Disgusting!" He wailed, wiping off his shirt. Renji woke up, rubbing his eye, then yelped and fell on Rangiku, who shrieked in horror and shoved Renji away. Ichigo came into the room, yawning.

"Cool, you guys... Grimmjow's still asleep." He added, gesturing to the Espada, who was curled up on the beanbag. Yumichika frowned.

"I'm surprised he's not awake with Rangiku and her screaming." He deadpanned.

"Be quiet, Yumichika!" Rangiku snapped. Renji stood up slowly, rubbing his head.

"Ow..." He muttered. Ichigo frowned.

"Get ready to leave. Rangiku, you can take a shower if you want. I need to get ready for school." He said.

"Sure thing, Ichigo!" Rangiku sang. As the others departed and Ichigo went off to school, Rangiku hopped in the shower. By this time, Grimmjow was wide-awake and getting dressed in an outfit Rangiku had bought him.

How he found that woman annoying!

Grimmjow was only too glad she was in the shower and unable to watch him dress in the oufit, which consisted of a pair of white jeans, a black long-sleeved t-shirt, a white vest, and the same black sneakers.

He was about to turn on the PS2 again, but his stomach growled loudly. He grimaced, then got up and strolled into the kitchen downstairs. To his disbelief, he found the cupboards empty. He sighed, then listened to the shower still running upstairs.

_... If I hurry, I can be back here within- What the Hell am I thinking?! This is my chance to get outta here!_ He thought and went right for the door. As soon as he bolted outside, he slammed into someone, knocking them both backwards.

"Ow! Who the fuck...?!" Grimmjow looked up and his jaw dropped as he was met with a pair of blank green eyes that were completely level with his own.

"ULQUIORRA?!?!"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**A/N: Wow... I did rush a little because I felt Ulquiorra needed to make an appearance. You know, so poor Grimmjow isn't lonely-**

**Grimmjow: I was never lonely!! I have myself, damn it!**

**Tsukuyomi: Hey! Who let you in?!**

**Ulquiorra: I think he broke the door...**

**Tsukuyomi: Oh, for the love of Jashin! Well, thanks for reading everyone and please review. (Flames not included.)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Horribly, horribly short. D': So sorry...**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tite Kubo's characters~!!**

**WARNINGS: Complete and utter randomness! Humor and sad scenes...**

**A/N: Sorry if I spell Ulquiorra's last name wrong. O3o;**

****

Chapter Five: Ulquiorra's Intervention!

"ULQUIORRA?!" Grimmjow yelled in surprise. Sitting in front of him, Ulquiorra seemed to have shrunken in size as well. He wore a black/white-checkered sweatshirt that was zipped up just under his collarbone and a pair of blue jeans, matching his navy blue sneakers. His hollow fragment was missing as well!

"Don't shout, Grimmjow... It's irritating, especially when I have a splitting headache." Ulquiorra said as calm as ever, holding the side of his head where his hollow mask once was. Grimmjow blinked.

"How did you...? Where's your hollow-"

"I don't have that much information," Ulquiorra said, standing up with a frown, "Unfortunately, no one really has any information. Aizen sent me to watch you and I could only do that if I came close enough to looking somewhat human. Unlike yourself, I was given this disguise by Szayel."

"Then how did I end up like this?! If Szayel-"

"I told you Szayel had absolutely nothing to do with it," Ulquiorra interrupted angrily, "Or were you too busy listening to yourself babble? As I was saying... Szayel suspects the Soul Reapers to be working behind it all..."

"What? But that Captain guy, Yamamato or something or whatever, said-"

"You would really trust a Soul Reaper, Grimmjow? Really, did decreasing your size also decrease your brain?" Ulquiorra demanded.

"SHUT UP! Come with me, you snotty asshole!" Grimmjow barked and grabbed Ulquiorra by the elbow roughly, leading him down the street toward the general store.

"Where are we going?" Ulquiorra asked with a frown.

"Breakfast, that's where. We need to talk. NOW."

"..."

**xxxxx**

"So, Aizen things the Soul Reapers have something to do with it too? I guess I have to trust his judgment on this one, but not Szayel. He's too much of a faggot." Grimmjow muttered as he bit into a sausage biscuit. Ulquiorra glanced at him out the corner of his eye, then took a small bite of the breakfast sandwich.

"You don't give him enough credit... I wouldn't have been able to come here and warn you if he hadn't of had this disguise on hand." He replied. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Yea, whatever. So, why would the Soul Reapers do this anyway?" He asked. Ulquiorra studied the food in his hand, his eyes narrowing a bit thoughtfully.

"Isn't it obvious? As powerful as you were before, your powers are decreased to the ability of only using two ceros a day. Soul Reapers don't have to worry about you anymore. Two ceros aren't enough to do that much damage. It's a good thing you didn't use anything stronger or else you'd probably fall into a coma."

"Well, that sucks."

"Naturally. However, Szayel's disguise enables me to use my hollow powers more than you can... To an extent."

"Hm?"

"Instead of the ability to use two ceros, I can use almost ten. However, I can't go into release form nor use my zanpakuto, which is why I left that behind in Las Noches."

"Huh... So what? You're just here to lecture me and watch me?"

"And collect information on the situation. Aizen needs all the Espada intact and he can't do that if one of them is in the body of an eight-year-old human."

"Well, damn... What now?" Grimmjow muttered. Ulquiorra finished his sandwich and sipped his ice tea.

"Go about normal business... Simply act like a human, unlike what you did yesterday at that school, and things will go much more smoothly-"

"You saw that?!" Grimmjow yelled angrily. Ulquiorra placed a hand over his ear, frowning at him.

"Yes. Now, I suggest you quit screaming in my ear. It's not exactly legal for students in the human world to skip school."

"Technically, I'm not skipping... I was suspended, whatever that means."

"... I suspected as much, but still. I'm not. Getting caught would mean I'd get in trouble. I wouldn't be able to use my hollow powers without creating a commotion and that, Grimmjow, is NOT part of the assignment." Ulquiorra finished as he stood up. Grimmjow swallowed his fourth sandwich and stood up.

"So, then... What would we do?"

"Well, we need to be around the Soul Reapers, so-"

"OH NO. No way in Hell! That place is a living nightmare!"

"... Do I have to force you?"

"I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!"

**xxxxx**

"Awww! That's so adorable!" Rangiku gushed when she saw Grimmjow and Ulquiorra standing in the kitchen of Ichigo's house. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Who's your friend, Grimmjow?" Rangiku asked, grinning.

"Ulquiorra! He's another Espada!" Grimmjow barked. Ulquiorra frowned.

"I told you to stop doing that." He muttered. Rangiku blinked.

"Another one?! Oh dear.... Uhm, maybe we should go talk to Captain Hitsugaaya about this one..." She mumbled, looking uneasy. Ulquiorra gave her a blank, lazy stare.

"That won't be necessary. His attention is probably on the situation, so there's no need for you to waste your time." He replied.

"I don't know about this... I mean, one Espada..." Her voice trailed as she brushed past them to Ichigo's room. Grimmjow raised an eyebrow.

"That sounded suspicious..." He muttered. Ulquiorra kept a placid expression.

"Yes. It's obvious they only planned for one Espada... So then why did they choose you?" He mused to himself. Grimmjow glared.

"And just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" He demanded loudly.

"If you don't stop shouting in my ear-"

"You'll what? Use a cero on me?! Isn't that suspici-" Ulquiorra landed a quick, hard punch into Grimmjow's nose.

"Agh, ow! You fucktard!" Grimmjow groaned, holding his bloody nose. Ulquiorra looked at him blankly as he if hadn't done a thing.

"I don't need a cero to get my point across." He answered curtly.

"Che!" Grimmjow responded and stomped outside with Ulquiorra right behind him.

"Why are you following me?" Grimmjow demanded in annoyance. Ulquiorra sighed.

"You don't get the concept of 'spying', do you?"

"I know that! But why don't you go follow Rangiku? She obviously wants your attention."

"And you obviously want hers." Ulquiorra threw back none so kindly. Grimmjow glared.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" He yelled. Ulquiorra frowned.

"It amuses me how Rangiku acts like she's supposed to be your mother. You seem to enjoy the motherly attention, Grimmjow."

"Ohh, bullshit! Don't need a stupid ass mother!"

"That's not necessarily true-"

"I don't need to explain myself to you, Ulquiorra! If you're going to stay here, you better sit back like the hawk you are and watch the show silently!" Grimmjow snapped angrily. Ulquiorra did just that and went silent as usual. Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Pussy," _THWACK!_ "OW!"

**xxxxx**

Ichigo was horrified when Rangiku gave him the news, but eventually calmed down when they arrived at Orihime's house to meet with Captain Yamamato.

As the screen flickered, Captain Yamamato and Captain Ukitake came up on the screen. They both looked exhausted and annoyed.

"Ulquiorra Cifer. I've received information that you too have run into the same dilemma that Grimmjow has." Yamamato announced. Ulquiorra's green eyes stayed on the screen in a plain look.

"Evidently." He answered.

"It seems we must make another decision... However," Yamamato said, turning to Grimmjow, who glared at him, "The total vote so far for your fate, Jeagerjaques... Is that you will be kept here for the reminder of your life, whether it appeals to you or not."

"WHAAAAAAT?!?!?! You can't do that!! You fucking think you have power, you old heap of worthless flesh?! I tear your innards-"

"Enough, Grimmjow," Ulquiorra cut him off, gently hitting him in the chest with his arm, then looking at Yamamato, who was twitching, "You obviously took a vote on keeping Grimmjow here or simply wiping him out. I would prefer if you did nothing for either of us. As it may be your duty to protect humans, that says nothing about your business with Espada."

"And what will you do if we let you roamed free to become full Espada again? You will simply kill everyone once regaining your place." Yamamato replied. Ulquiorra shrugged, closing his eyes.

"That's none of my concern. I couldn't possibly care any less. For now, Grimmjow and I are simply going to think of a path to become Espada again without the help of Soul Reapers. I would appreciate your Soul Reapers stay out of our way."

"And if we don't?" Yamamato demanded. Ulquiorra looked at him coldly.

"We'll... Simply have to kill you."

****

**A/N: I am so sorry this is a short and probably not totally awesome chapter... My fingers are frozen because it's cold here! T.T I'll post the next chapter as soon as I can get warmed up and when I have more time as well!**

**Grimmjow: Psh, you're probably gonna start writing how cool Ulquiorra tries to act!**

**Tsukuyomi: ... I thought I blocked off the door this time... -sweatdrop-**

**Ulquiorra: He used a cero...**

**Tsukuyomi: Grimmjow!!**

**Grimmjow: -__- How else am I supposed to get in here without opening the door so kindly?**

**Tsukuyomi: Ask me!**

**Ulquiorra: You're asking GRIMMJOW...**

**Tsukuyomi: Oh right...**

**Grimmjow: What the Hell does that mean?!?!**

**Tsukuyomi: Go yell somewhere else, Grimmjow! Anyway, thank you, my lovely readers, for reading this desite its shortness. And please review, lacking flames! ;D**


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